rafe is not a good person, but a morally grey person. he has psycopathic tendencies and a nature to use violence as the first option. there's something wrong with him and he knows it. he's a total asshole, man. he's possessive and dominant, liking to take control over situations. 

barry's pretty similar, being aggressive and dominant to get his way. he's tougher than rafe though, due to their upbringings. however you're their girl, and they love you a lot, really.