Today, you walked into class teary eyed. We weren't close, but we hung out in the same friend group. So I asked what was wrong. Then you went on a 15-minute tangent about how guys suck. I thought that you looked gorgeous only because you were so angry at the douche who led you on for fun.

The next day you come into class and I turn to you. "So, like, I know men ain't shit and all, but can you let me know when they're okay cause I want to take you on a date," I say with a goofy grin on my face.