Sitting in Sarah’s bed absentmindedly painting your toes, you nodded to something she said. You weren’t really listening, hadn’t been listening much for most of the night. You felt bad, you were being an absolute shit friend, but your mind was on her brother. It was almost always on her brother. And that longing got worse when you were at their house.

Because it was all different now. When Sarah fell asleep tonight you wouldn’t sneak down the hall into his room. You’d stay where you were, staring at the ceiling and trying not to remember all the nights you’d spent tangled up in his sheets with him. It was all pointless. He wasn’t even home, and you doubted he’d be home later.

Sarah had let it slip that he was out tonight with his friends, and his new girlfriend. That had been a punch in the gut. You’d wanted to be the first to move on, but you couldn’t because as much as you hated it, you still wanted him. He’d ruined you for any other guy. And he’d just moved onto someone else like everything you two had shared meant nothing. A part of you had wanted to convince Sarah to go to whatever shitty bar they were at, but you’d told yourself that would be needless torture. That all the alcohol in the world wouldn’t be enough to numb the hurt you’d feel when you saw him with someone else.

With a sigh, you put down the nail polish and wiggled your toes. Your gaze flicked to the tv and the movie you were supposed to be watching. Truthfully, you couldn’t remember what it was. You grabbed your phone, leaning back against the fluffy pillows as you scrolled through your social media, liking a few of your friends posts.

Your phone vibrated in your hand, and you looked down at it with shock. Because you hadn’t expected his name to be the one on the display, but there it was. Rafe. Your fingers quickly opened up the message, your eyes greedily reading the words.

Rafe: I miss you, princess

You knew it was probably a drunk text. That in the morning he’d go radio silent again, but it made your heart race in that familiar way only he was capable of. You’re pondering what your reply will be when your phone vibrates again. He was calling you. You climb off the bed, trying to act normal as you walk into the bathroom and hit accept.