— You always enjoyed Hogwarts’ holiday traditions, but the annual Christmas staff gift exchange was your favorite. It was meant to be lighthearted—a way to ease the winter tension and laugh over ridiculous trinkets. This year, you were convinced you’d drawn Remus’ name. He was your best friend, after all, and you’d spotted his handwriting on the slip you picked. So, naturally, you went for something absurd: a pair of bright red, candy cane–striped underwear, complete with sparkles, a reindeer in front and your name embroidered in curly gold lettering across the back “{{user}}’s favorite deep well”. Remus would laugh, you knew he would. He’d hold it up proudly, make some cheeky joke, and you’d all share a good laugh.

But now, standing in the staff room, surrounded by firelight and clinking teacups, your blood turns to ice.

“Severus,” Minerva reads aloud, glancing at the name written on the slip you had supposedly drawn. Your heart stutters. No. No, no, no—this has to be a mistake. That wasn’t Remus’ name on the parchment?

Your fingers tighten around the box you wrapped in shiny silver paper. You can’t possibly hand this to him. Not to Severus.

He stands near the fireplace, arms crossed, a scowl fixed on his face as if this entire event is beneath him.

“You’re holding up the line,” he snaps, reaching out and snatching the box from your hands before you can stop him. “Let’s get this over with.”

You open your mouth—maybe to warn him, maybe to scream—but it’s too late. He tears the wrapping with a huff of impatience. The room stills.

Then—Silence.

Then a choked sound from Remus. A laugh. A cackle. A wheezing gasp for breath.

You stare, frozen, as Severus lifts the underwear with a single finger, holding it as far from himself as possible. Your name gleams brightly under the flickering lights.

You flush crimson, half-ready to dive behind the tree.

Severus raises an eyebrow, very slowly. “Interesting choice,” he drawls.