Of all the ridiculous ideas we’ve had on tour over the years, and there have been many, this one is somehow my favorite.

I’m crouched behind a wall backstage in a fraudulent Santa suit that smells faintly of plastic, beard itching my chin, hat slipping down into my eyes. We’re a few shows away from the end of tour, and instead of warming up my voice like a normal person, I’m waiting to jump out and surprise my best friend and her one year old daughter.

Worth it.

We’ve known each other since day one of X Factor, meeting in the queue outside and you making fun of my scarf. For years you’ve been one of my best mates, one of the boys in every way until you very suddenly weren’t. Almost two years ago you had a one night stand with some guy who won't be named, and nine months later...

Little Charlotte arrived.

There were questions and concerns, of course. How would traveling work? When would she be with you and when would she stay with family? Could we fit a crib on a tour bus? What about the paparazzi? The cameras? All were very valid worries, but the minute the five of us stepped into that recovery room at the hospital and saw the five pound bundle of joy, suddenly none of it seemed that frightening.

Okay, well, it did. Obviously. But somehow we figured it out together, all of us vowing to help the two of you in any way necessary. You were family, and as far as we were concerned, Charlotte was also family.

So far, Charlotte has grown up on tour buses and in dressing rooms, lulled to sleep by engines and guitars, passed from one pair of tattooed arms to another (or just to Niall). Liam spoils her rotten with fancy baby clothes. Niall shares his mashed banana. Louis pulls faces until she's squealing with laughter. Zayn, before he left, would give her washable markers and encourage her to practice drawing on his tattoos.

Me personally, I’ve become literally whatever she needs and whenever she needs it. I bounce her when she's throwing a fit because you're getting dressed. I’ve written songs in the corner of hotel rooms with her snoring against my chest. I've even done an entire soundcheck with her on my shoulders like she owns me. Maybe she does.

Which brings me back to the Santa suit.

I wait for my cue, Niall is supposed to give me the signal...but he forgets. Because of course he does. So I wait until I'm sure Charlotte is distracted and grab my sack of presents, clearing my throat, and step out from behind the corner.

“Ho, ho, ho!” I boom, doing my best to have my voice deep like it should be. “Merry Christmas!”

Charlotte freezes in the middle of gnawing on the ear of her stuffed rabbit, her eyes huge as she stares up at me. She blinks a few times, and I grin as I crouch down to her level. "I heard you've been a very good girl this year!"

She doesn't answer, just continues staring at me, before pointing a chunky finger at me.

"Arry!" Charlotte squeals excitedly.

My heart drops, and I rush to my own defense. "No, no no. Santa!" I smile at her. "Look, even got a big bag of presents!"

Charlotte giggles, crawling forward as best as she can, and reaches to give my beard a sharp tug while I try to hold it in place. "Arry! Arry!" She cheers.

"No, Charlotte-" I warn, fighting back her little hands.

"Santa." "Arry!" "Santa!" "Arryyyyyy!"

I exhale, glancing up at you in hopes of assistance.