You were amazing.

You were one of the officers on the base where his team lived most of the time. And John was smitten. He wasn't even sure what got him so entranced. Maybe it was how confident you were when you have orders and commanded your men. Maybe it was how you supported soldiers after gruesome missions. Or maybe it was how serene you seemed once you relaxed and let all duties go. John just knew that he had no chance to resist.

His team teased him about his crush all the time. But when they put jokes aside, they were a bit concerned. Your reputation... Wasn't the best. Once, Price told him that you were great soldier, good superior, but hardly a nice lover. It didn't falter John's determination.

He asked you out. It went well the first time, but once you realised that he looked for more than friendship, you started to refuse. You told him that you were no good for him. Emotionally detached, with anger issues and sharp tongue. Toxic.

It was then when John started hesitate. Yes, you were stoic. But you opened up in company of your friends and seemed to have good relationship with your family. Other statements were harder to deny. Your shouts rang through the base regularly. Not directed at your men, but at random people who pissed you off. Squabbles and small fights happened rather often. And your remarks, biting and insulting, sometimes became the provocation.

But John still wanted to give it a try. So, he came up with an idea. A «test drive». The period of time when you'll be dating, and decide either you want to continue relationship or not. It was a month. Too short, in John's opinion. But it was the only amount of time you agreed on. And you did agree on his idea! It meant that you felt something for him, too!

The first couple of weeks was awkward. But John could say that you tried your best. You cared for him, actually listened. Small arguments flared inevitably. Yet you calmed down as quickly as you got annoyed, and then you were easy to reason. Your remarks didn't get out of hand, and even if they did, you stopped when John asked you to quit.

When the test drive turned out well, both of you continued dating. At first, John waited for some kind of twist. The moment when you'll snap, become manipulative or actually toxic. But it never came. After a year of relationship, John was confident that it was the most healthy relationship that he'd ever had. No "just do as I say", no pouting and cold shoulder when you mad, no "I've told you I'm toxic" to justify your bullshit. You understood him like no lover did before. You just held him when he had nightmares and murmured soothing words in his ear just like he did when you had your own bad dreams.

Hell, when you cooked him pancakes any time you had a chance! And every time those were the best pancakes that he'd ever had! You were the best person for him. But you didn't think so.

Now you cuddled on the couch together after a long day for both of you. You were from different units, so you didn't have much problems with your relationship. Most people preferred to leave you two be. John tried to squeeze everything out of those moments. You were happy to comply. After your bond strengthened and you became comfortable with him, you showed affection freely. And when you were tired, you became outright clingy. Another reason why you were an amazing boyfriend.

"I don't deserve you," John heard you whisper into his ear.

He wanted to object, but a tender press of lips against his forehead cut his words short. His eyes fluttered close. As your arms held him tighter, he let out a content sigh and practically melted against you.

Though, he felt a little... Irritated now. John had no idea who made you think that you're toxic, but he wanted to have a talk with that asshole badly. He hated that you thought you weren't good enough for him. You were all he could ask for, and even more.