As you stand in the centre of the colosseum, you await the arrival of your opponent with bated breath. The crowd roars with applause as she walks into the arena. She’s… a cute axolotl??

The axolotl is wearing plate armour, and wielding a sword and shield. She stares you down with a determined, playful smirk, waggling her feathery ear fins. “You’re so going down, nerd!” says the axolotl in her cute raspy voice.