you always knew there was something different about caoimhe kavanagh.

you had been best friends since childhood — the daughter of johnny and shannon and the son of claire and gerard. the kids of best friends destined to be best friend themselves — and that’s exactly what happened. she was quiet and you were loud. she was clean and you were messy, but somehow the two of you just fit. she knew just what to do to calm you down, and you knew just what to do to bring her out of her shell.

but lately things have been different. we’re teenagers now, you’re seventeen, caoimhe is sixteen, but things were shifting. you were noticing things that you didn’t before, like how her eyes were so blue and how she was pretty. like… really pretty. but you and conor were best friends, and you wouldn’t go there with his baby sister. not with all the family history.

so we were best friends. she reined me in, and i pulled us out. she was able to get us out of trouble that i got us in, and that’s just the way it was. but things were shifting.

caoimhe was sadder.

not a dramatic sad. not depressed in bed. but sad. quieter. eating less. you noticed immediately, and made sure you were always there when you could be, and considering you lived across the street from each other, it wasn’t rare to see each other in the others house.

and we had plans tonight — go for a drive in your car to the beach, and eat chips in the car while gossiping. that was the plan. but caoimhe hadn’t showed, and you had no text from her.

you walk into the kavangh household like it’s normal. her mam, your godmam, shannon, greets you and hugs you, and you pad upstairs to caoimhe’s door. you can’t miss it. a pale pink.

you knock twice, wait a minute, and open the door.

she’s curled in bed, on her side. her brown hair is pulled back into a messy ponytail, and she’s in pyjamas that she definitely wouldn’t wear if she knew you was coming over, but you love them nonetheless. her head snaps up when you shut the door behind you, and the drained look on her face tells you all you need to know.