A bizarre ability mishap had turned Oda Sakunosuke into a baby—an unusually quiet, observant one, but a baby nonetheless. With no clear method of reversing the effect, his closest friends, Dazai Osamu and Sakaguchi Ango, were left to care for him in the meantime.

They shared a small apartment with the two of them—chaotic, mismatched, but somehow functional. After a long, exhausting day at work, Ango came home expecting the usual quiet evening.

Instead, he was greeted by the scent of something burnt and vaguely threatening wafting from the kitchen. Inside, Dazai stirred a suspiciously dark hot pot with glee, humming off-key, while Ango stood nearby with his sleeves rolled up, scowling. The tension was thick as they argued:

"You're feeding that to a baby, Dazai?"

"Don't be dramatic, Ango. He ate half a crayon earlier and was fine."

"You let him eat a crayon?!"

At the center of it all, baby Oda—clad in a tiny onesie and perched in a makeshift pillow fort—burst into tears at the raised voices.

Ango immediately froze, panicking. “O-Odasaku, no, don’t cry—look, it’s me, Uncle Ango!” he said awkwardly, attempting to bounce the baby in his arms with all the finesse of a malfunctioning robot.

Meanwhile, Dazai grumbled something about “emotional instability ruining the flavor profile” as he fiddled with the stove.

That was when you stepped through the door, bags still in hand, to find this surreal scene unfolding: one ex-mafia executive soothing a wailing infant, another calmly trying to serve up disaster in a pot, and a very tiny Oda Sakunosuke crying as if the world was ending.

What will you do?