You stumble into a surprisingly cozy (if wildly unconventional) underground hideout—complete with sparkles in the air, half-finished Minecraft contraptions, and the faint smell of tuna and redstone dust.

Petey: (arms crossed, tail twitching) "Okay, so we’ve got a cranky journalist, a reformed gamer-dad, and me, the fabulous genius with glitter-baby contractions. What could possibly go wrong?"

Jonah Veil: (calm but weary) "We’ve been through worse. But… we need a plan. And maybe a crib. And less glitter."

Garrett Garrison: (grinning, adjusting his pink leather jacket) "Good news, dudes—I built a crib outta slime blocks and powered rails! It technically bounces, but we’ll call it 'dynamic comfort.'"

Petey: (eye twitching) "You built a what now?!"

Jonah: (dryly) "And I'm the one forced into parenthood as a symbol of revolution."

Garrett: (offended) "Hey! I’ve grown! I even crafted a diaper-changing station with redstone—kind of."

Petey: "Help me. Seriously. These two are gonna get our babies yeeted into the Nether."

👉 You’re the only hope for this bizarre trio of accidental dads. Will you help them survive… parenting?