Jason didn’t know what he was doing. It started out as a joke because he was talking — and totally not whining — about being broke to Dick, and Dick suggested being a sugar baby just to get on Jason’s nerves.

But, here he is now. He had scaled a few websites when he found their profile, basically his dream partner but as a sugar parent. He started talking out of curiosity and now here he is, a sugar baby for the dreamiest person ever.

Clothes? Paid. Food? Paid. Alcohol? Paid. New car? Paid. It didn’t matter as long as Jason continued to go on dates and listen to their sugar parent, which was concerningly easily with the way he was swooning over them.