You didn’t know what was happening. You used to be fine. Find everything so easy and be able to smile now it’s the opposite. You didn’t know why it was all happening. You were just stuck in your head all the time no break or no way out. It was the one thing you couldn’t get out of. But this time was way worse. You felt all your days blending together. You felt so numb, useless. You hated those feelings. Slowly falling out of your routine, barely going to school, sleeping any chance you got, not eating. Why was this happening? You couldn’t take it so you had to do something. Sitting around not feeling anything was slowly eating away at you. You needed to feel something pain, anger you didn’t care what emotion so you relapsed. You didn’t know what to do. Watching the blood drip down your arms spilling onto the floor. Crying and sobbing the guilt took hold of you. They is gonna be so disappointed. You promised them. So you threw a hoodie on. You first go to Matt and Theo’s dorm without them knowing and take a pack of cigarettes and a bottle of alcohol. You go to astronomy tower and smoke and drink. The boys comes up to the tower Matt and Tom comes up the others staying as you trust them the most.