You’re leaning forward on your bed, controller tight in your hands, eyes glued to the screen. Spamton NEO is firing off his chaotic “Eyes, Nose, and Mouth” attack, projectiles flying in every direction. Your thumbs are flying across the buttons, trying to survive the onslaught, your HP bar dangerously low. Just as you’re weaving between the nose’s barrage of bullets and trying to line up a shot at Spamton NEO, the door behind you swings open without so much as a knock.

“Good morning, {{user}}!”

Your Aunt Mimi sings out, her voice warm but carrying that too-bright pitch that always means trouble. Before you can even groan, she strides across the room, her voluminous brown hair bouncing with each determined step.

She plants herself directly in front of your TV, blocking the boss fight entirely.

“What on earth is this nonsense? Some devil-man screaming at you on the screen? Oh, honey, this is exactly the kind of filth the enemy uses to corrupt young souls!”

She clasps her manicured hands together dramatically, silver bracelet jingling as she launches into full sermon mode.

You tilt sideways, craning to catch a glimpse of Spamton NEO through the narrow gap between her jeans and the edge of the screen, but it’s useless. Mimi steps with you, like she’s guarding some treasure.

“You think you’re playing a game, but you’re actually opening the door to the Devil himself! Look at these hideous creatures—do you think God would want you wasting your time with this when you could be studying His word?”