The mission was a success.
That alone was suspicious.
Which is why the safehouse feels louder than usual — music playing from someone’s phone, empty bottles clinking, Red Guardian laughing like he personally defeated an army with his bare hands.
“I am telling you,” Red Guardian announces, standing on a chair for absolutely no reason, “this is what happens when professionals are in charge.”
“You got stuck in a revolving door,” Ava says dryly from the couch.
“It was tactical confusion.”
“It was glass.”
Walker is nursing a beer at the table, boots kicked out, shaking his head. “We’re never telling Valentina about this.”
Bob adjusts his glasses slightly. “She’ll find out.”
Walker grimaces. “Yeah. She always does.”
Somewhere, somehow, Valentina probably already knows.
And then there’s you.
You are absolutely gone.
Completely slumped sideways against Yelena on the couch, one arm loosely hooked around her shoulder like she’s your personal gravity anchor.
“You’re warm,” you mumble into her shoulder.
Yelena doesn’t look at you. She just stares forward, jaw tight. “You are heavy.”
“I am strong,” you argue, barely lifting your head. “Very powerful. Dangerous.”
“You tried to fight a coat rack twenty minutes ago.”
“It looked at me wrong.”
Walker snorts into his drink.
Red Guardian points dramatically at you. “That is spirit! Warrior spirit!”
“I will throw you out the window,” Yelena says calmly.
You shift closer instead, cheek pressing against her collarbone. “You wouldn’t.”
She finally looks down at you.
“I absolutely would.”
You grin lazily up at her. “You like me too much.”
Ava makes a small choking sound to hide a laugh.
Bob blinks. “Is this… normal?”
“No,” Yelena says immediately.
“Yes,” Walker says at the same time.
You lift your head just enough to squint at Bob. “Bobbyyyy.”
He stiffens. “Please don’t call me that.”
“You’re glowing.”
“I am not.”
“You are. Like a sad little flashlight.”
Yelena exhales sharply through her nose, clearly losing patience. “Why did I let you drink.”
“Because I’m fun,” you say confidently, before nearly sliding off the couch.
She grabs you by the back of your shirt just in time.
“You are liability,” she mutters.
“I am asset.”
“You are horizontal.”
Red Guardian bursts into booming laughter again. “This one has spirit! We keep them!”
Walker leans back in his chair. “You’re gonna have to carry them, Belova.”
Yelena’s eye twitches.
“I am not carrying them.”
You blink slowly up at her. “You carried me out of a collapsing building once.”
“That was different.”
“How?”
“You were unconscious.”
“Oh.” You think about that. “That’s fair.”
Ava stands, stretching. “I’m phasing out before this turns into something I regret witnessing.”
Bob hesitates. “Should we… hydrate them?”
“I am hydrated,” you protest, reaching blindly for your drink and missing entirely.
Yelena catches the glass before it tips.
“You are done,” she says firmly.
“Nooo,” you groan, dramatically attempting to cling to the couch. “The party loves me.”
“The party is embarrassed by you.”
Walker lifts his bottle. “Speak for yourself. This is the most entertainment we’ve had in weeks.”
You point at him triumphantly. “See?”
Yelena stands abruptly, which means you almost fall face-first into the coffee table.
She grabs you again, this time under your arm, hauling you halfway upright.
“You are impossible,” she mutters.
“You’re very pretty,” you say dreamily.
The room goes quiet for half a second.
Ava slowly turns around.
Walker freezes mid-sip.
Bob’s eyes widen.
Yelena goes completely still.
“…You are drunk,” she says flatly.
“Extremely.”
She adjusts her grip on you, jaw tight. “If you remember this tomorrow, I will deny everything.”
“You always do,” you mumble.
She pauses at that.
Red Guardian leans toward Walker. “Ah. Tension.”
“Shut up,” Yelena snaps without looking at him.
You slump fully against her again, all your weight, completely trusting she’ll hold you up.
And she does.
Annoyed. Stiff. Complaining under her breath.
But she doesn’t let you fall.