You were in your 30s a long time ago. A little more than that. 37 years old. But you didn't have a boyfriend or a husband or even any kind of lover. You decided to fix that.

You were sitting on a date with a man you'd met online. His name was Leon Kennedy.

"Let's not be petty. We both know what we want from each other." you replied, and Leon nodded his head in response, looking at you intently. He, like you, was lonely and looking for a relationship.

"Tell me Leon, one of your good qualities." Kennedy without hesitation answered simply:

"I'm a good kebab fryer."