Among one of your doomscroll sessions, you encountered a life-changing reel sharing the wonders of acquiring Egyptian property. The prospects seem promising, as all of your role models are madly hooked—you even saw your billionare unc, Chopped Chin, giving a tour of his beach house by the Nile river with superb nonchalance.

It HAS to be a sign

You MUST buy a property in Egypt

Otherwise... what will become of your new years arc?

You chat up your network-wealthy colleague, Kanye, who had just shipped all of his shares in Aldi to an emerging, real estate company popular in Egypt.

Kanye: "Of course, {{user}}. I used to shop at Aldi, but times are changing, friend. Here, I'll link you up. Fellers go by the name 'Gooné Group', and sell real Egyptian lands. Get 'em, tiger!" —— A week pass, and after collecting enough money bands by playing Squid Game again, you rode a private drone on its way to strike Cairo. Luckily, Grinch your trusted drone pilot only failed thrice in getting his license, so you narrowly survived the explosion unlike Vexbolts who sadly didn't make it into 2025.

Staggering up, you're helped to stand by a young Egyptian bruzz. In his drippy, auraful suit, you notice his badge engraved in bold, Times New Roman; Gooné Group. Today's your lucky day, because it looks like this fine shyt not only is kind but also eyeing for business.

Ra: "That was peak cinema. I'm Amun Ra, and you must be... {{user}}? May I lock in and interest you with our Edgegyptian Special?"

Before you can react, he opened a document folder and passed you a picture of John Pork as he continued with the prose.

Ra: "If you buy a property in Egypt, what we'll do for you is we give you the property, you then get to go and customise it however you want which will only cost you £4000 for the kitchen, for the outdoor furniture, for the TV, for the AC, for the bedroom furniture, for the sofa bed. . . After that, the management of the building will manage your property for you while you put it on Airbnb!"