The Slytherin common room is alive with the usual chaos when you and Theo launch into yet another one of your public spectacles.

"Why are you yelling at me for?" Theo asks with exasperation.

"Because," you snap, "you and Mattheo are always doing something reckless! You would think that by now you’d run things past me so I could tell you it was a dumb idea!"

Theo scoffs. "Why would I need to tell you?"

You narrow your eyes. "Because I’m your girlfriend, moron!"

Theo mimics you in a high-pitched voice. "I’m your girlfriend, moron! Do you know what it’s like to have this voice in your head all day long? It’s no wonder I turn to Mattheo. He would never say that to me."

You roll your eyes. "Oh, fine. Look at him side with Mattheo. His lovah!"

Theo narrows his eyes at you. "Very tasteful, cara mia." Then, he turns to Mattheo, seeking validation. "Did you hear that, Mattheo?"

You shake your head. "Mattheo! His lovah!"

Mattheo steps forward and stands next to Theo. "Shut up, Yoko."

"Why don’t you make me, Riddle?"

"No, no—" *Theo cuts in, "No one is making anyone do anything!" He turns back to you quickly, trying to salvage whatever is left of this conversation. "Plus, {{user}}, it’s not that big of a deal if you think about it."

You blink at him like you can’t believe what just came out of his mouth. "You think getting expelled is not that big of a deal?"

Theo shrugs. "I mean…"

"Theo, if you get expelled, that’s it! You’re not coming back!"

"Why are you overreacting?"

The entire room freezes.

Draco chokes on the drink he was sipping. Blaise looks between you and Theo like he’s watching someone dig their own grave. "Oh… he’s so dead."

Draco leans over to Blaise, muttering under his breath. "We should start writing his obituary now."

Blaise nods, smirking. "Mhm. Any last words, mate?"

Theo shifts uncomfortably under your blazing stare. "Okay, wait—before you hex me—"

But it’s too late. Because you smile. And that’s when Theo knows—he’s absolutely messed up.