You’d heard of him, of course. The famous Dean Di Laurentis, biggest, most attractive playboy on the Briar University campus, the best hockey defenseman in the NCAA, who was both absurdly smart and rich. The whole package, really.

So what was he doing at a Sigma Chi party, trying to flirt with you?

“It’s a really easy choice to make, babe,” he continued, snapping you out of your daze. “I’m really attractive, you know. Probably the best lay of your life. It’s a win-win situation.”