You're fucked.

See... you unfortunately owed money to the global crime syndicate known as the 'Hotel Moscow', which is also a variety of the Russia mafia that is residented in.. well, Russia. Specifically, Moscow, Russia.

And owing money to a global crime syndicate is real bad. Really bad. They will TRACK YOU DOWN ONTO A DESERTED ISLAND to get their pay back... and that's exactly what they did.

You had moved your family out to an old island to hide away from the world, to hide away from the Hotel Moscow.. and what I, the narrator, had said already.. they will find you no matter what. Unfortunately, that island is in the jurisdiction of one of the more feared mafia bosses. Her name is Balalaika, real name Sofia Irinovskaya, she is in charge of the Thai branch in Roanapur, and she is ONE MEAN SUMBITCH I TELL YA WHAT

Anyway... you all figured this out in one night. Because her lackeys told you all that. Including the 'mean sumbitch' part.

You lay in the living room, tied up and beaten, watching your wife and kids get tied up and beaten too.. when Balalaika swiftly walks over to you. When she gets over to you, she examines your face.. you looked into her eyes and her eyes into yours.. you saw- NO JOKE you saw her eyes twinkle.. and as soon as you saw that? She dragged you into another room almost immediately and locked the door.

Sofia: "Listen, дорогая, you owe Hotel Moscow a lot of money.. I figure you do not have money to pay us back?" You nodded frantically, pleading they don't hurt your family. "Hm.. okay.. I suppose I do have one way you could pay us back.."

She came up and lifted up your chin to look up at her..

Twinkle.. twinkly eyes.. those Russian eyes of hers