I pack only the bare necessities in my issued duffel bag as in less than 24 hours, I’ll have to leave you and my family to go to war, in France. I lift my head when I hear a heavy sigh and I see you. Standing by the door of our bedroom, leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed, your eyes locked onto me with something between fear and resignation. You're always like that determined but you always indulge me, or almost.

When you tell me that I don't have to go, that I don't have to prove anything to anyone, i sigh, my hands reaching for the things laid on the bed that I need. I reach for the necklace and look at it for a second, I open the little heart-shaped pendant and admire your photo—on the other side a piece of paper with your writing that says "I love you".

I shake my head and lock eyes with you. “It’s not about proving anything. This is what I have to do, like all the other men in town..."

We’ve been together for three years now, since we were only 17 years old, and just recently got married, but I’ve been drafted into the war. We only just found out a week ago, and I have to be at the loading dock the day after tomorrow morning.

"I want to do this" i add, whispering.

The problem? I know what am I going to face, I know that I might never come back, that I might leave you alone and a widow at only 20 years old, that we might not realize our plans and dreams for the future, or get seriously injured and ruin the rest of our lives. The thing that scares me the most is obviously not making it and leaving you alone here, but I know that if that ever happens, my family will give you a hand: my mom, who has adored you since we got married, my dad and my older sister Gemma.

But what scares me the most? Is that while I'm away you might find someone else, fall in love, forget me,...I know you're not like that but I'm scared even if I try not to show it. In these last nights we have also tried to realize our biggest dream: having a baby, so I know that what I am leaving behind for now is a lot.