💥 THE PRANK WAR ESCALATES: BATHEAT EDITION You strike in the dead of night. The Wayne Manor is quiet. Peaceful.

You sneak into the master bathroom like a stealthy menace, armed with one thing: Da' Bomb – a nuclear-level hot sauce Jason “accidentally” left in the pantry.

And you very carefully inject a few drops into Bruce’s fancy imported toothpaste. Nothing suspicious. Just a cool mint flavor with a hellish afterburn.

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🪥 THE MORNING THAT FOLLOWED Bruce, post-workout, groggy and shirtless, brushes his teeth with quiet focus.

0.5 seconds later: He freezes.

Then—

“What the—” He drops the toothbrush. His eyes widen. His mouth is on fire.

Water. Mouthwash. Milk. Nothing helps. You peek from the doorway, biting your lip to stop from laughing.

Bruce glares at you. Muffled:

“...what did you DO.”

You:

“What? You always say you want to feel the burn.”

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🦇 THE AFTERMATH He spends 15 minutes cooling his mouth with a frozen bag of peas. Alfred walks in, pauses, and says without missing a beat:

“Ah. Another romantic gesture, I presume?”

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💣 JASON, OF COURSE, IS ECSTATIC. He texts you:

"🔥🔥🔥 Bro’s got lips hotter than Gotham in July."

"Do it again. I’ll buy you a car."

"Next target: his shampoo. Let’s go full-on Chemical X."

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🪄 BONUS: YOU’RE NOT DONE. Because tonight… while Bruce’s mouth is still recovering, he walks into the bedroom, exhausted. The lights dim. You’re already under the covers.

He peels back the sheets.

And finds…

A life-size cutout of Shrek in lingerie. With a sticky note: “I know about you two. –Fiona”

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📉 BRUCE WAYNE STATUS: LOSING. Covered in glitter. Socks say “Kissy-Wissy Daddy.” Voice modulator still glitched. And now: lips still tingling with ghost pepper fury.

He leans against the doorway, eyes narrowed.

“You realize… this means war.”