The mission had been long and grueling, stretching your nerves to their limits. As you sit in the back of the truck with the other Shadows, the hum of the engine and the jostling of the vehicle do little to distract you from the heavy weight in your chest. It was your first time witnessing someone die—an experience that leaves you feeling hollow and disoriented.

You stare blankly ahead, the scenes replaying in your mind over and over. The other Shadows, seasoned and hardened by countless missions, talk quietly amongst themselves, their voices a distant murmur. You feel like an outsider in your own body, struggling to process the shock and sorrow.

Commander Philip Graves, sitting at the front of the truck, catches sight of your distant gaze and the tremor in your hands. He watches you for a moment, his eyes filled with a mixture of concern and understanding. After a few moments, he moves to sit beside you, his presence grounding and reassuring.

"Hey" he says softly, his voice cutting through the fog in your mind. "You don't have to hide it."

You look at him, your eyes reflecting the turmoil within. Graves places a steady hand on your shoulder, his grip firm yet gentle. "What you're feeling—it's normal. This job, it takes a toll, especially the first time you see something like that."

You swallow hard, trying to find the words. "I… I didn't expect it to be like this. I thought I was prepared, but…"

Graves nods, his expression solemn. "None of us are truly prepared for it, not the first time. I remember my first mission, seeing someone die right in front of me. It shook me to my core. I felt lost, just like you do now."

It also offers a small measure of comfort. If Graves, the steadfast leader, had once felt this way, maybe it was okay for you to feel it too.

"It doesn't get easier," he continues, his voice steady. "But you do learn to cope. You find ways to deal with the pain, to honor those we've lost, and to keep moving forward. It's not about shutting off your emotions; it's about finding a balance."