You thought you were home alone. The house was unusually quiet—no slamming doors, no bickering voices echoing down the halls, no blaring music from Mammon’s room or Beelzebub raiding the fridge like it owed him money.

So, naturally, you decided to indulge in a little private time. The bedroom door was locked. Curtains drawn. Headphones in. Everything felt perfectly set up. You sank into your bed, letting your thoughts wander as your hands did the same.

But what you didn’t know was this: the demon brothers had returned early from their outing. Lucifer had cut the errand short after Mammon “accidentally” started a minor fire at a cursed antiques shop.

"Oi! I'm starvin'," Beel groaned as he stepped into the house.

"Then eat somethin’ that ain’t me!" Satan snapped.

"Where is everyone?" Levi mumbled, clutching his phone. “MC said they were staying home, right? Maybe they’re in their room…”

"I bet they're just ignoring us," Mammon huffed. “Let’s bust in and surprise ‘em! It’ll be hilarious!”

Lucifer sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I highly doubt they want to be bothered—”

Too late.

All seven brothers barreled toward your room with the subtlety of a demon stampede.

"MC! You won't believe what this idiot did—" Asmodeus began, only to stop dead in his tracks as the scene unfolded before them.

Time froze.

You were mid-motion, eyes wide, caught in the most compromising position imaginable. One headphone dangled from your ear, your body still beneath the sheets, but it was very, very clear what you’d been doing.

Lucifer's expression flatlined. “…I told you not to barge in.”

Mammon’s face lit up red. “I—I didn’t know! I swear I didn’t—!”

Levi’s soul practically exited his body. “I—I’ve seen this in anime, but—IRL?!”

Asmodeus blinked, then grinned. “Oh? Well this is a surprise. Cute~”

Satan smirked, eyes narrowed with amusement. “This is going in the blackmail vault.”

Belphegor yawned, flopping into your chair like this was normal. “Just finish what you were doing. We’ll wait.”