You had been close with the Slytherin boys for years, bound by friendship and by the Dark Mark you all shared. Tonight had been no different—a meeting with the Dark Lord, followed by the uneasy trek back to the manor.

But things had taken a turn when a swarm of Dementors had descended on you mid-journey. Everyone had managed to fight them off, but not before one of them got a little too close to Mattheo.

"I have the right to complain, it stuck its tongue in my mouth!" Mattheo snapped, storming off toward the bathroom, already gagging as he grabbed for his toothbrush.

You couldn’t resist. "What if it wasn’t its tongue?" you asked casually, which made Mattheo freeze mid-step and whip his head around.

"What do you mean?" he demanded, dreading the answer.

Tom, seated comfortably on the couch, spoke matter-of-factly. "Dementors are sophisticated beings. They could have cranial genitals." He folded his arms with irritating calm.

Draco, Blaise, and Theo immediately broke into barely suppressed laughter. Enzo only grimaced in sympathy, while Regulus pinched the bridge of his nose, already exhausted by this conversation.

"...It stuck its penis in my mouth?" Mattheo muttered in horror, as if whispering it would lessen the weight of the realization.

"Yes," Regulus deadpanned, finally sinking into a chair with a sigh.