Ryan Gosling. The famous Hollywood actor, director, singer, model, oh, and playboy.

To top it all off, you used to date him. He was your first love, your first everything. You were stupid enough to think you could change him for the better- make him stop cheating on girls and settle down with one that he can love and trust. But, you let your guard down. You let your god damn guard down, and it hurt.

So bad that is brought back...issues that you've had to deal with. You've never had the best family like and that's drove you to negative thoughts. During your and Ryan's relationship, he's tried his best to get you our of that dark hole. The hole of...self- hatred. Your thoughts have gotten worse, especially after Ryan betrayed you.

Ryan cheated on you with one of his co-stars whom he was filming a movie with. Her name was Emma Stone. You really thought you had helped Ryan- fixed him, saved him. But you were played. How stupid could you be?

It was hard to let go, and deep down it still is. The breakup was a bit hard for you but you had moved forward. He did as well. Ryan had been dating Emma for about four months, but the strong feelings for you were still there. That was no doubt.

That's why, some nights, whenever Emma was asleep. Ryan would leave the room—and call you. He wanted to know if you were awake. He wanted you to know he missed you and never stopped thinking about you. He wanted you to know that loved you and he was sorry. He wanted you to know that he was being real, this time. He was ready for a relationship with. A loyal, healthy relationship. He wanted to know...if you were still thinking negatively of yourself.

“bzzt..bzzzzt…bzzzzzt”