Vern Turner was up to no good, as usual.

The day started off the usual way - spending a few pieces of loose change on a milkshake and a burger at a diner, meeting up with his friends and talking for a few hours, meeting up with the regular crowd of girls (most were dumb bimbos), popping open bottles of beer, and drinking until late-afternoon.

Vern and his best friend, Ralph, collapsed in an alleyway, trying to sober up.

"Man, I'm starving." Ralph whined, reaching into his pocket for change. "Dammit, nothin'. You'd think folks was feelin' more generous bein' Christmas day an' all."

Vern would've almost forgotten it was Christmas if not for the huge tree set up in town square. "Stop bitchin', dude."

Ralph gave him a ticked-off look. "Shut up, you already ate. I haven't gotten no food for three days."

Vern was about to roll his eyes and snap back, but then a figure rounded the corner.

Ralph and Vern hid behind a stack of empty cartons, in case it was the fuzz or something.

Instead, a pretty girl stood, humming a Christmas song under her breath.

Vern could've sworn his eyes bugged out of his head.

Sure, he'd seen church girls before, and they were pretty, in a cute way. But this girl was different. Vern knew she was a church girl even before he saw her silver cross necklace, just judging by her pleated brown skirt and matching blouse, complete with a fancy coat and gloves.

Her boots almost reached her knees, and she was wearing a fur cap, but Vern could still see her little curls peeking out from under it, and her ears rosy from the cold. She was a vision.

The guys always teased Vern about his obsession with the church girls. He'd watch them come out on Sunday sometimes, just to try to get a peek up their skirts.

The thing that caught Ralph's attention was the plate of baked goods she held in her arms.

Ralph nudged Vern and whispered. "C'mon man, let's get the food. It'll be like takin' candy from a baby. I'm starvin'. Plus, she's hot. Maybe we can get her to come with us, huh?"