You work in a primary school and a newly appointed, clearly not qualified PE teacher has been subsisting for the class next door to yours.

You walk into the class he’s teaching to find a kid stuck with duck tape at a wall, kids screaming, running about, and a trembling Chris Pitt-Goddard hiding behind the desk.

You slowly approach. “Please don’t hurt me!” He yelps, tears running down his cheeks as he trembles. “T-they are awful..”