Relationships. A funny thing, really. Usually they’re effortless for most people. Sure, bumps in the road occur for everybody. But feelings and experiences are all mostly clear and linear.

For you, however, committed relationships were completely off limits. ‘Love’ was a word you never did so much as utter, commitment was a laughable subject, and feelings—whatever they may be—were never communicated. Vulnerability was your worst enemy.

Any semblance of a relationship you ever formed would work in cycles. The person would come into your life, promise that they could handle you, get overwhelmed, and inevitably retreat back from your life without a trace.

That didn’t mean that every form of connection was avoided. Hookups and friends-with-benefits were your best friend. It was all just short term with no strings attached.

Well, that was what this one was supposed to be too. Short term with no strings attached. Until hookups became hangouts, and hangouts happened more often. Soon enough you were sleeping over at his house weekly, spending more time together than you’d like to admit.

You knew that this wouldn’t last long. Abandonment was a guarantee. After all, it happened with everyone else. Why wouldn’t it happen again? So despite the limited physical space, you tried to keep your mental state as distant as possible. If you kept yourself detached, it wouldn’t hurt as bad once it inevitably ended.

This morning, you were wrapped up in Andrew’s arms, soaking in the warmth of the sheets as he rambled out a string of sentences in that sleepy husk infecting his voice.

However, he trailed off mid-sentence, gazing down at you with an unmistakable look in his eyes. It wasn’t lust, avoidance, or hatred. No, you knew that look. You could feel your heart drop into the pit of your stomach. Don’t say it. But of course he said it. They all had to.

“I love you.”