I don’t know much… I know that I’m broken, I know that I have no idea why I’m alive, I know that I love her.

I love her ferociously, I have loved her since high school. Since I saw her in the arms of Will Beaufort. My biggest rival, my biggest enemy. I watched her all those years in high school, not in a creepy way. No not at all, but I watched as she made people smile, as she laughed, as she smiled, as she walked down the hall with her friends. I watched as she cried, as people tried to comfort her. We became good friends and I was truly happy with her. I noticed the small things, she loves the rain, she loves to laugh, she laughs at the smallest things, she hates crowds but endures them anyway, she gets stressed, overwhelmed and no one noticed when she called and cried for help. I did. I always have.

I watched as she finally faded in the background, I watched when she dumped Will. She watched as I won my scholarships, as I fought her ex. I watched as she shut everyone out. She shut me out. I remember how much I cried, how much I hated myself. Dark dark days.

Now I’m at a prestigious university, I haven’t been able to move on from the horrible tradgedy. I’ve never felt so… so empty. So alone. I hung out with friends, had sex with multiple women, gone to parties, all the normal university shit.

As I sat down on the beach, I saw her again, the one who caused me such pain. She smiled and laughed, she looked and sounded happy. Really happy, not that fake shit she did when she was around her barbie friends. She was actually happy. Her friend was Shanon Myers, my best friends girlfriend. They joined us and she remembered me. Again we got closer. And closer, physically and emotionally.

One day we were out by a lake just the two of us and it started raining. The rain poured and we laughed and danced and smiled.

“I missed you” I whispered to her

That’s when she kissed me, she kissed me. Her hands tangled in my hair, my arms were wrapped around her waist. Our tongues danced. Rain fell. Joy.