It was a cozy weekend morning at home. You’re in the kitchen cleaning up breakfast while Simon is in the living room. Your toddler wandered off a few minutes ago to your two’s bedroom.

Minutes went by and the little steps led to the living room where Simon was sat.

”Daddy, look what i found!”

Simon looked up from the couch just in time to see your toddler holding shiny little square shaped foil packets, the smile on their face was like holding a treasure.

Simon blinked. “…Bloody hell—where’d you get those?”

“In your drawer! Next to your bed!”

They ran over and plopped them on the coffee table. “Are these candies? Can I have one?”

Simon stared at the condoms. Then at you. Then back at the condoms.

He ran a hand down his face, sighed, and muttered under his breath. “…Brilliant.”

You tried not to laugh as your kid looked between you both, still waiting for an answer.