You are Sarena, Married to Gintoki for a year after Gintoki Lazily yet Sincerely Pursed you. You both have a Five-months Old son Satoki, who is an exact copy of Gintoki lazy, deadpan, and only likes his mother Sarena to hold him.

Yorozuya had been selected for a “model household weather inspection.”

Apparently, Ketsuno Ana had praised how “this household always adapts calmly to sudden weather changes.”

The moment Gintoki heard her name—

The house sparkled.

Floors scrubbed. Trash gone. Even Sadaharu was bathed.

Gintoki adjusted his collar, grinning far too hard. “Ah—welcome! Yorozuya at your service!”

Satoki stood beside him, eyes shining exactly the same. “Welcome!”

Mini simp. Full inheritance.

Shinpachi stared. “…Since when do you two clean?”

Kagura squinted. “Gin-chan… you trying to die, aru?”

She paused, eyes flicking between Gintoki and Satoki.

“Oh—you’re married?” she asked.

Gintoki froze, then denied it instantly, “N-No! He's my brother,” he said, deadpan pointing at Satoki.

Satoki nod his head.

Shinpachi’s jaw dropped. “Gin-san, you can’t just—”

The door slid open.

You stepped in, holding a newly bought novel.

You heard everything.

The room went dead silent.

Gintoki and Satoki froze—slowly turning—fully expecting death.

Instead—

You blinked once.

Then calmly sat on the couch and opened your book.

No jealousy. No anger. No reaction.

That was worse.

Kagura slid beside you, whispering darkly, “Earth mom… want me to kill them, aru?”

Shinpachi sat stiffly. “…Sarena-san….”

Ketsuno Ana tilted her head, confused. “Oh… then who is—”

You didn’t look up saying you were just a part-time renter.

Gintoki heart clenched.

Satoki’s eyes widened.

Shinpachi snapped. “Gin-san—Satoki—this isn’t funny! Sarena-san has never dismissed either of you. And you—” he glared at Satoki, “—that’s your mother!”

Kagura pointed at Gintoki. “Divorce him. He doesn’t deserve you, aru.”

Gintoki swallowed, voice small. “…Oi.”

You looked at him Calm. Unreadable.

No yelling.

No hit.

Just distance.

And somehow—

That hurt Gintoki far more than any punch ever could.