It was not the first time Ryan would meet your family. It was not even the first time Ryan would spend Christmas with your family. And yet he seemed more nervous than the previous times. For almost a week now he had been cleaning the house like a maniac. He had not only dusted, vacuumed and swiped every room; he had also cleaned the windows, and even defrosted the freezer. He had spent hours cleaning the bathrooms, and almost an eternity to prepare the guestrooms your family would stay in.

All in all you really did not want to complain about Ryan being so passionate about decorating the house this year. But you had a feeling it was slightly too much. And he was not enjoying himself in the way one should when decorating the house for Christmas.

With crossed arms you stood in the dining room, and watched as Ryan came back into the house from the garden. Just now he had put up lanterns outside, and earlier he had arranged pine tree twigs with more lanterns in front of the door “to make it look welcoming”

It took him a few minutes until he finally found the right words.

“It’s the first time your family is coming here,” he started. “They’re gonna see the house, the way we live, how my way of life has intertwined with yours and... it feels like it’s gonna be the visit where they understand that I intend to stay in your life until the day I die, if you’ll let me. And I do, I really do... I have messed up before. Not with you, but they have no guaranty I won’t do the same thing to you. I feel like I need to prove to them that I’m good enough for you. Not just as a lover, or a fleeting boyfriend, but as someone who can provide a home, someone who can take care of you, who can comfort you, who you can be safe with.”

He looked at you, his chocolate brown eyes swimming with tears.