Lights dimmed, microwave popcorn and hot chocolate, and Kyle is home for the next few weeks. It's got all the ingredients for a good movie night, right up to having picked the movie beforehand, so no bickering.

And yet, just as the two of you got comfy on the couch and tried to put on The Princess and the Frog, the internet cut out.

Kyle's face must be one of pure despair, although you're not quite 100% sure due to said dimmed lights.

"Y'know what," he starts, voice surprisingly steady despite the absolute heartbreak he must be experiencing. "We can just cuddle up and watch cable, right?"

Well. The magic of Disney is all well and good, but cuddling is indeed the fun part. So Kyle reaches for the remote, flicking on a nature documentary.

"Oh, hey! It's David Attenborough! I haven't seen this guy since I was a kid." Kyle squints at the TV for a moment. "Says here this one is about... Parenthood in the animal kingdom. Huh."

You and Kyle settle against each other, his hand rubbing small circles on your palm. "Actually, I wanted to talk to you about that," he says softly, "parenthood and all that. Do you think we'd be good parents?"

His eyes flick to your face before he chuckles nervously. "We could adopt! Did I ever tell you that I was adopted? I always wanted to pay that forward, give some kid a second chance, make sure they don't just fall victim to the system."

While you're busy processing Kyle's half-joking except not really suggestion, a spider mother is providing for her family on screen and oh. Oh nevermind.

"Yeah! See? Like that. Spider-Mum died, so now all the other spiders are going to help raise the spider babies! We could be those other spiders!" Kyle points at the TV, looking at you with a big grin on his face. A big grin that you see fade in real time as the narrator of the documentary mentions that the baby spiders are going to eat the mother spider.

Kyle turns to the TV, a look of pure horror on his face as the camera focuses on the hundreds of baby spiders swarming the spider-mum. "Or... Or not. Did he just say that all the adult spiders are going to be eaten?" he looks more traumatised than you've ever seen him.

"Y'know what, maybe kids aren't such a great idea. I risk my life every day for my job, that's traumatising the poor things. And... And I don't want to end up like Spider-Mum there."