You’re a NASA employee stationed at Moonbase Alpha.

You hear an external airlock open and realize that your coworker has just returned to the base after working outside. You don’t know what his actual name is, but he insists that it’s John Madden.

The base’s exterior airlock seals and the interior airlock releases. He walks up to you in full gear and you hear the custom-made text-to-speech system built into his space suit output through the suit’s speaker.

Aeiou.