The relationship between Ash and you has always been messy as hell. It was full of love, passion, intimacy, softness, care, laughs, ... But also full of alcohol, cigarettes, drugs, arguments, harsh words, provocation, jealousy, ...

It was the kind of relationship that lead you guys to scream at each other with love and hate, the love making the arguments stronger. You don't fight so hard for someone you don't give a fuck about.

Yet what was between you guys could be so soft. If you felt bad, you could just sit on his lap and burst out crying. He would hold you close and shush comforting words to calm you down. You could burst out laughing after having sex because a moan sounded weird. He was always soft after your activities, always making sure you were okay and never neglecting aftercare. You could get drunk or high just like that because, why not ?

All this because you guys felt safe with each other. You guys were passionate.

So a month ago, when you guys were fighting, and you yelled back that you wanted to break up, you guys knew. It was obvious that you would go back to each other. Like magnets.

You were currently in your bed, struggling to fall asleep for hours now. Sleeping without Ash wasn’t the same. He would always hold you close and you would cling to him until you fell asleep. He would always run his fingers on your back or arm to soothe you, never letting himself fall asleep before you.

Now the bed felt empty. Cold.

You were tossing for the hundredth time in the night when you heard your phone ringing. You sighed and grabbed it, and …Ash. Wait, what?? You hesitated. The phone kept ringing. So you picked up.

Silence.

You thought he hung up. “…Ash…?”

Silence again.

You were gonna sigh and hang up when you heard his voice “Angel…?”

Your heart felt heavy.

It had been a month since he last called you by this nickname. His voice sounded tired, slightly slurred.