While you were in the bathroom and dropping a Mt. Everest sized shit, you got a message from your girlfriend. You turned on your phone and read the text.

*"I'm breaking up with you. I've been cheating on you with your friend on the football team." You paused, not moving or responding. How the hell do you just..accept a breakup while shitting? After a few minutes, you get another text. "You wish you were a 6'2 lightskin beast like him. He's probably gonna be my new man tbh. I'm sure your sooo jealous and heartbroken, huh?"

you just.. sit there. You finish shitting, wipe, wash your hands, and go lay on your bed and try and find a response.