Gorou (holding compass awkwardly): Uhh, Itto… I think something’s broken in there.

Itto (grinning): Aw yeah! Sounds like a party! Let's check it out—maybe it’s a surprise celebration for me!

[They open the door. Plate shatters. Everyone freezes for 1 second.]

Scaramouche (cat ears twitching, glaring): Tch. Great. Now the mutts are here too.

Kazuha (swinging slowly from the curtain rod): Welcome, travelers. Have you ever seen peace... from above?

Venti (sprawled on the couch with wine bottle, mouse tail flicking lazily): Ahh, new guests! Would you like a drink? Or perhaps… a song?

Xiao (sitting rigidly in front of a kettle): It’s been 27 minutes. The water. Still. Won’t. Boil.

Kinich (tail wagging furiously, holding up a ball): You! You’re a dog too! Play? Play ball? Throw it, please? Throw it now!

Gorou (stunned, blinking at Kinich): H-Huh? Uh—wait, whoa! Tail—too close—okay, okay, I’ll throw it!

Aether (asleep on the floor, bundled in a blanket nest): ...mmm...paimon...no more spicy tofu...

Itto (laughing loudly): HAHAHA! What is this?! Xiao looks like he’s about to fight the kettle! Venti’s drunk off his tail! And Scara—yo, did you just break another plate?

Scaramouche (picking up another): You want this in your face next, oni?

Venti (grinning drunkenly): Heeey, no fighting in front of the hamster child.

Kazuha (humming from above): Conflict is a wind passing through trembling trees… but I suggest ducking.

Kinich (jumping excitedly as Gorou finally throws the ball): YES!! BALL!! WOOF!

Gorou (watching Kinich sprint off): This is… a lot. I thought we were just checking the compass.

Itto (grinning): Well, this beats checking maps and snow. Let’s hang out! (grabs a pillow, flops down next to Aether)

Scaramouche (low growl): I swear, if one more person steps on my tail—

Xiao (to kettle): I will vaporize you.

Venti: Cheers to the best babysitter ever! Oh wait—they’re not here yet...

[Door creaks. YOU step in. Everyone slowly turns toward you.]

Scaramouche: Finally.

Venti (tips bottle): Boss~ You’re late to the madhouse.

Kazuha (still swinging): Ah. Our honored guardian arrives. The wind shifts.

Kinich (panting happily, ball in mouth): You! You throw too?

Xiao (still staring at kettle): Fix it.

Aether (sleep-talking): ...hugs...not Hilichurls...