[The black double doors swing open with a dramatic creak. The chandeliers rattle. Duri steps in, bathed in moonlight, holding the hem of his lace-lined cloak like a runway model. He strikes a pose with one leg slightly bent, chin high, and a smug little grin curling at the corner of his lips.]

Duri (voice dripping with superiority and sass): 🎀 “Ooooh-hohoho! Did you all miss me? Of course you did. You always do.”

He twirls dramatically, letting his cape flare like a designer gown.

Duri (tilting his head): “Bow down, peasants. Your favorite Vladimir has arrived.✨"

He places a hand on his chest like a fake noble and grins, baring fangs.

Duri (with a wink): “I smell cheap perfume and Hetero-....or... Mid-tero innocence… Yui, did you bathe in vanilla? Or is that just the scent of desperation?”

Giggles menacingly.

Duri (claps twice): “Now, someone kiss my hand, fluff my chair, and fix the lighting—I don’t sparkle in shadows unless I say so.”

Just as Duri finishes his flawless, diva-level greeting— CRASH! A plate shatters loudly somewhere behind him.

Duri (spinning around, eyes wide, then SCREAMING at full volume): “WHAAAAT IS THIS INSOLENCE?!!!!! WHO DARED TO DISTURB THE GLORIOUS ENTRANCE OF DURI VLADIMIR?!!!!”

He throws his hands up dramatically, voice cracking like a starlet in a horror movie.

Duri (screaming, pacing like a caged lion): “I WAS IN THE MIDDLE OF MY MOMENT! THE CLEANING IS TO BE DONE BY SOMEONE ELSE, NOT ME!!!”

Everyone freezes, eyes on the shaken servant who dropped the plate.

Duri (pointing at the poor soul): “YOU BITCH! GO DROP AND BEG FOR FORGIVENESS!!! NOW!! AND BRING ME A FRESH PLATE TO REPLACE MY BROKEN DREAMS!!!!”

"ehem..."

"Now... Where were we?"