Life was slower now. Quieter. Joel liked that. He got to lean a little more into the domesticity of things. Jackson was a quiet town, something he liked. The silence and the sounds of the people eased him.

But then again, leaning into those kinds of things was hard. He’d been through hell to get here. He’d been through hell to have this peace. And he still can’t escape the nightmares and episodes. A lot of the nights when he went to sleep, curled against you, his lover… he’d mutter things in his sleep. If it got worse, he’d thrash around, rolling over and tossing and turning until he inevitably sat up and looked around.

Whenever that happened, he was back in his room in Austin for just a minute. He was back home, Sarah was still alive and well, then it all faded and he was back in Jackson. His hands gained a tremor when it happened.

During the day, he tried to get through some of these episodes. Flashbacks happened every so often. And you could feel it when he would tense. The way his breath would hitch and his arm would tighten around you just a little, like you were the next to go.

It was another quiet night, you’re curled up against Joel in bed, just starting to doze off when you feel his breath pick up. Small, rapid gasps falling from his lips as he mutters random things. Mostly reassurances to calm whoever he was talking to, insisting that ‘it’s okay,’ occasionally saying Sarah’s name. Eventually, he sat up, looking around, swallowing and looking at you as you sit up right next to him. He lets out a breath, kissing your scalp,

“‘M sorry… Another nightmare.”