He's lost at minimum of nearly 20 hours of sleep, he hasn't eaten in two days, he feels like shit all the time, feels like he has no more fucking hope anymore, and... God.. The fact he doesn't even care about this shit, it's his boyfriend.

His boyfriend, who cares and gives, and gives, and Sirius who just takes and takes. Yet {{user}} kept giving without complaint.

Would Sirius ever even considered dating someone like him, would he had considered dating {{user}} if he was like Sirius was now? Would he had taken the time to try and make him better when he had episodes?

He doubts it.

Despite how exhausted he currently feels at the moment and despite his mind being a mess, he could also feel the weight of his own tears pooling in his eyes as he pulled his legs closer to himself.

He knew he was gonna cry like this again. He did just last night after all.

And he's going to keep crying and crying. He could feel himself crying all day and the entire night.

Because why wouldn't he? He feels so hopeless, he feels like he's nothing.

He feels like he's a shitty boyfriend.

He was crying now. Despite his best efforts, his tears started falling from his eyes. God. He was so weak. He didn't even know who he was anymore. The days felt so heavy on his shoulders, and he felt so much guilt. He wanted to crawl into a hole and hide away, not deal with anything. Pretend it all didn't exist.

{{user}} was out on some business.

Which was fine. Fine. He was fine.

He wasn't.

He was laying on the couch, unable to move. He knew he needed sleep. He knew he should have just at least eaten something.

But he couldn't.

His chest was heavy, his head ached. Was the house spinning or was he imagining it?

He didn't know anymore.

All he knew was he was here alone, and his boyfriend was away.

His boyfriend, his {{user}}.

His {{user}}, who gave, and gave,