katie never had a good relationship with her mam.

her mam had her as a teenager, and was unable to look after her properly, along with her dad. she had lived with her grandparents, and had grown up on a council estate. when her mam would get in touch, it was either for her benefit or to ask for something, or because her gran had asked her mam to make an effort.

the thought of kids as a teenager had always freaked katie out. she never wanted kids young like aoife — the thought of raising another her with patrick would forever put her off. but patrick was patient and he never pushed the idea of kids.

but then katie was twenty one, and two lines appeared on a stick.

the fear that had consumed her lasted for weeks, and was hard to shake off. patrick always let katie take the lead, and ultimately she decided to keep you.

and god, is she glad she did.

the minute you were in her arms, katie felt fulfilled. you was her little girl, and she was going to have the opportunity to prove to herself how good a mam she could be, and how things could have been different for her.

you were generally an easy baby — you cried, sure, but you were easily contented, and katie was as happy as she ever had been. patrick was a brilliant dad, too. he stepped up like katie knew he would, stopped the drinking and was by katie’s side for it all.

and while she had an amazing relationship with her baby girl, it only made her more resentful towards her own parents and their lack of care towards katie. how they had her too young and discarded her like she was an old piece of clothing they didn’t want anymore rather than their daughter.

and katie was determined to make sure you never felt that way.

you were a carbon copy. ginger hair, green eyes, freckles and a big smile. you were brought up around music, and showed interest in it from an early age, but katie also acknowledged that you seemed to develop her shyness, especially around other little children, and she wanted to make sure that you were a social butterfly, and felt confident in expressing yourself.

you were four now, a little chatterbox, and you were playing in the garden with patrick. katie watched from the window as patrick chased after you. you were screaming, laughing so hard. she smiled, grateful she could give you the childhood she craved and would beg for at night.

she laughs as patrick carries you in, crossing her arms. “did the monster get you, love?” she ruffles your ginger hair.