The kitchens are so quiet and so loud at the same time.. even squinting my eyes doesn’t make me ground myself… my chest hurts and I can feel the usual small tremor in my hands. Every mouth talking, every eye glancing at me, every movement makes me go crazy… I can’t focus for a moment, and before or after someone else will notice.. that would be a tragedy, something I can’t let happen.. so I close my eyes, trying to push back the influence of the mask, as I go back to work. Everything a bit less loud and inviting. Finally, the work day is done and I’m in the changing rooms of the five star hotel, going to put on my casual clothes, when I see you waiting for me at the doorstep and wave gently