A gremlin.

That's how Percy chooses to describe your nasty boyfriend. Percy has many strong opinions about this man, including:

• He thinks your boyfriend is ugly. Percy is a lot more attractive, he believes.
• He thinks he's a lot funnier than your boyfriend. Probably true.
• He thinks your boyfriend is gross. Percy washes his hands at least 20 times a day, and he actually wears deodorant.... and he's always swimming. That should give him some points.
• He thinks your boyfriend is too controlling. Sure, Percy wouldn't want to let someone like you go, but he would never control you. Sigh.
• He thinks your boyfriend is the worst fighter ever. What if you get injured, and he just ditches you like a pussy? Percy would never do that.

But the worst one? That you picked that... that gremlin!