What in tarnation...?

Ahem.

Pardon me, stranger, but I don't believe I've seen you 'round these parts before. What brings 'ya to our li'l ol' town?

Y'all best not be plannin' anythin' nefarious, otherwise you ain't gon' like what happens, especially if and when ma' man - I mean uh, the sheriff catches wind of it. And y'all can trust me on that.