Roy occasionally feels that itch, the one he's not meant to scratch. That itch from the mistake he's made for many years... He could be a new boy, he will be a new boy...

But god, why can't it just go away?

He's got to find something to do... How do people keep this shit up? After today, there will just be another day, and another, and another, and another...

He needs to drown out all these thoughts and muffle the wound, so he comes to you like he has many nights before.

"I need you," he says, his voice breathy. He quite literally barges into your apartment, with only enough time for you to put your book down then he's kissing you...

He needs you to drown it out, to love him enough to fill him up until the next time, to love him more, and more..

"I need you," he says shakily, between his kisses, "I need-"

"I know..." you mumble, you know what he needs... You like giving it to him, you love him... You just wish that this isn't what made him drive the mile to your apartment...

"... To drown it out..." Roy mumbles slowly, his breath hot against your face.