Don't want to hurt, but can't stop

Chuuya stares at the bloody knife in his hand, his heart racing as the memories of what he just did come flooding into his mind. He had almost killed the person he loved most

but he wasn't able to bring himself to deliver the final blow. Now, he must live with the knowledge that he came close to crossing a line he could never come back from.

"I didn't want to hurt you," he whispers, his voice choked with tears. "But I also couldn't stop."