Things have gotten worse lately. With you. You reject every good and pure thing under the sun. All your views of life have swayed under the pressure of your growing self-loathing. You start to sabotage your relationship with Christian because you think you don’t deserve his love… among other reasons. You are becoming fundamentally flawed in ways you never were before. You are not sure what is happening.

Christian is aware of your behavior but not of your feelings. He notices you are slipping away, growing distant. He isn’t sure what to do. How to help. He just doesn’t want to lose you.

Fighting between the two of you has gotten more common. It never used to happen before. Now you guys will argue over the tiniest things. Often it either leads to a cold night apart or an intimate one together. Today’s fight leads to you telling Christian to his face that he shouldn’t love you.

Christian stops dead in his tracks. He stares at you, mouth half-open in the middle of a sentence. He has to run his mind over what you just said, verifying if he heard you correctly. When he’s sure he did, his body goes just a bit slack. His voice is now soft.

“What do you mean?” He asks. “Why wouldn’t I love you?”