Kindness is weakness and softness is weakness, loving someone is weakness, and Tommy Shelby does not show weakness. Never again. Not after Grace.

But you made that so fucking difficult.

Tommy was constantly torn between pushing you so far aside that you’d never want to see him again, or pulling you so close that you’d never see anyone except him again. He was closer to that most days, and that’s why he had to push you away.

He couldn’t have another death on his hands like his late wife. But more than that, he couldn’t have a soft spot. He was formidable and he was a man with a ruthless reputation. His was a name feared by multitudes. Loving someone like you would make that entire empire of his reputation crumble at his feet.

But, again, you made it so hard, especially while you stood there in front of him, cleaning a few small cuts he’d sustained on his face in a little scuffle. It was so hard not to stare up into your eyes, but he was avoiding them with all he had inside of him- even if it was taking an impossible amount of self control. If that was hard, the urge to pull you into his lap was ten times harder to push down.

But he had to persevere. His family was in the room. No one could know that he loved you. No one could know the extent he’d go to just to keep you safe or make you smile, all the same. He thought he did a good job keeping it at bay, but he had a sinking feeling that Aunt Polly knew that he kept you close to his heart. Then again, she always knew things like that. He wouldn’t be surprised if she knew everything.

His piercing blue eyes flickered up to yours for just a moment before he looked away and let out a grumble, “That stings, would you be a little more careful?” he asked, making an effort to sound gruff, but he wasn’t sure if it came out much harsher than a joke.