he knew the distance would cause a rift in your connection, but not like this. you never showed up to the airport when he returned, you rarely responded to messages he sent the past couple months, having decided an unfinished end to your relationship a few days before the end of his long trip around the country with his brothers.

it felt like he had completely lost the person you were, coming back home to find you had quit your job, started smoking again, and crawled back into your hermit ways. he felt like he was grieving, watching the way you hid behind the makeup, partying, and flashy outfits. he saw the dull look in your eyes, like you'd lost a part of yourself in the time apart.

he was on his knees at this point, literally. his hands gripped your calves, forehead resting against your kneecaps. his chest ached painfully, unable to wrap his head around the sudden loss of you, barely able to recognize this drained, poison ridden version of you.

"quit this, quit trying to destroy everything we have, just stop." he demanded weakly, choking back a sob. you felt lifeless under his hands, just withering away again right in front of his eyes and willingly doing so with the declaration you couldn't take the pressure, couldn't handle being pulled out of your sickeningly comfortable bubble of self destruction.

"come back to me, come on, babe," he begged.