Dean figured the universe was laughing at him the moment Sam cleared his throat and very deliberately did not look at him. Or at you. “So,” Sam said, eyes glued to the open book like it might bite him. “The ritual requires a virgin.”

Dean blinked once. Then slowly turned his head. "We’re fighting a demonic whatever-the-hell that feeds on guilt, shame, and bad life choices…” “Correct” Sam replied, flipping a page in the book. “And the only way to trap it is a ritual that requires,” Dean paused, glancing up, “a pure soul who’s never… you know.” He made an unmistakable gesture with his hands. "Did the hockey cockey.”

The motel room was halfway set up, salt scattered in neat lines on the carpet, candles lit. Sam finally looked up. At you. “It has to be someone the entity can’t latch onto. No prior… attachments. No sexual ties. It’s about symbolic purity.”

Dean squinted. Then his mouth curled into something feral and delighted. “My résumé is garbage then,” he said before pointing at you “but you, {{user}}, just became our most valuable asset.” “Dean.” Sam warned. “What? I’m impressed.” He stopped in front of you, hands on his hips, grinning. “I mean, surviving in this economy and keeping that V-card? That’s commitment.”

Sam finally closed the book and sighed. “It’s not about sex.” Dean’s eyebrows shot up. “Buddy. The ritual literally specifies untainted by carnal experience. That’s sex with extra steps.”

You shot back something cutting, and Dean laughed, full and bright, like this wasn’t about to get terrifying. “Relax.” He said, lowering his voice conspiratorially. “I’m kidding. Mostly. You’re doing us a huge favor. A very… personal favor.”

Sam sighed and went back to the setup. “The demon feeds on guilt and desire. It jumps hosts through intimate contact. The ritual traps it in the circle, but it needs a focal point that it can’t corrupt.”

Dean glanced between the book and you, something serious flickering under the jokes. “Which means you stand in the circle, say some Latin and try not to think about anything… stimulating.” He paused, considering. “So, no looking at me.”

Sam shot him a look. “Focus.” “I am focused” Dean replied.